i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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