Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
