I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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