Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
