id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
