How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
