the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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