Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I need moral support for this bender
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize