When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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