didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
