So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just had sex bonerless
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Randomize
