I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
