Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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