i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
