Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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