Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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