I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
