This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
