we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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