I just cut my nipple shaving
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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