If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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