Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
