You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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