I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
