A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
