like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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