I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Randomize
