she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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