I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
