Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
