Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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