Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
