After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
