Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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