in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
