I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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