Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
