Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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