so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
