i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
