well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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