I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
