My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize