I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Success! We fucked roommates!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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