If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
