Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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