Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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