I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
