What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize
