2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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