Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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