i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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