yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Terrible idea I love it
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
