How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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