dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize