fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
