It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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