in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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