it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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