great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
