Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think i have two assholes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
