so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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