awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
