this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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