No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
porn star boner night. come get it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My dick has a subreddit
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
