By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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