And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
