I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
