Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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