in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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