Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
